I just realized that I have not blogged all of 2015. Have I been to busy parenting and managing my full time job? I just did not make time to write. Have I lost touch with my writing ? Well, other than many many e-mails , feedback about interview candidates , facebook and whatsapp messages, I have not written anything that I have wanted to write. I sit in silence at times and think of what I want to write about and that was it. Today I saw a post saying "The best way to start a blog is to start writing" and here I am, after more than a year.
Over these months that I haven't blogged, I have lost 2 grandmothers, many grand uncles and aunts.
My son has met most of them and he might not remember meeting them ever, but atleast I have photos. I regret not having a single photo with my paternal grandfather. I am told he adored me and wanted to take me back to Palakkad from Chennai. He passed away a couple of months later, but his stay at our home in Chennai was the longest when I was there. He must have loved me so much and would have taken me out for walks and bought some toys. My mother and uncle themselves did not get to spend time with their father since he passed away when they were kids. Essentially, I never had a grandfather and I miss that even till date. However, now when i see my son playing with his grandfathers, i have a sense of satisfaction that he gets to enjoy something i never had.
People are most important. Money will come and go or grow. Health will fluctuate. Our moods will swing. People stay in our lives forever. Not everyone, but everyone that matters.
H was 1.5 years old and suddenly my husband had a one day meeting in Gurgaon. I jumped at that opportunity and tagged along to fly to Delhi. What a trip that was! Everyone was overjoyed seeing little H. Especially my grandmother. Suffering from Parkinson's for the last couple of years, she was on her deathbed just waiting for death. Her brain functioned the best, the rest of her, not much. I could not see her like that. She was one of the strongest ladies i have ever seen. She is meek, she is soft, she is the sweetest, yet she is strong. Never did she let us know she had an incomplete life. She made her kids and grand kids her life and loved us every so dearly. Seeing her lie down almost lifeless, blurting out incomprehensible words which I could not understand, i convinced myself it would be over soon and she would be out of her misery. How happy she was to see her first great grandchild, I have no idea. She must have been, because she asked for a silver tumbler to be gifted to him. That was the only thing i understood.Though i wished she used that energy to call out his name, or my name, one last time. 2 weeks later, she was gone. She was relieved of all her physical agony. I was happy. I was crying, but thankful to God for saving her.
Just as i was hoping 2016 would be a better year, my father's cousin also passed away. My parents just got back from my maternal grandmother's funeral ceremonies and then went to attend another.
Reminds me of that dreadful day last January when my father and his siblings were at their uncle's funeral and heard that my aunt's husband passed away at his brother's place in Mumbai. My father called me and was sobbing uncontrollably. "Another huge blow to our family" he said. My heart was worried who was next in the serial deaths that were happening since October 2014. When he said it was Muthu Athimber, I was shocked. We just met him last week. He was okay. How? It also happened to be the first working day at his new company for my brother. He was uncontrollable and inconsolable too. Athimber was loved by all of us. He was way too frank, but he was lovable always. He taught us many things when we were kids and he was respected by everyone in the family. His love for food was special. He enjoyed eating. I have never seen anyone relish food like he did. But his death was as painless and sudden that i wish everyone could meet death that way. No notice, no preparation, no agony, just keep speaking and then you are gone. But it is a bigger agony for those left behind wondering what just happened, right?
Mid last year, I lost another respected relative - Chandran Chithappa. My grand aunt's husband.
He always appreciated me and made me feel special. He seemed to encourage me in everything I did and was always proud of me. He was always presentable, even immediately after a nap. He looked handsome even during his funeral. Chithi still keeps telling how wonderful he was as a person and a partner. I am sure no one else would have been perfect for my dear Ganga Chithi.
We started 2016 without many people in our lives, but we managed to connect with siblings of my in-laws in Chennai. It was a memorable trip for all and I realized how one small person can add to so much joy in everyone's lives. My son is special to many many people and this year I will make sure he meets as many relatives and friends. The best way to stay in touch and spread joy.
Over these months that I haven't blogged, I have lost 2 grandmothers, many grand uncles and aunts.
My son has met most of them and he might not remember meeting them ever, but atleast I have photos. I regret not having a single photo with my paternal grandfather. I am told he adored me and wanted to take me back to Palakkad from Chennai. He passed away a couple of months later, but his stay at our home in Chennai was the longest when I was there. He must have loved me so much and would have taken me out for walks and bought some toys. My mother and uncle themselves did not get to spend time with their father since he passed away when they were kids. Essentially, I never had a grandfather and I miss that even till date. However, now when i see my son playing with his grandfathers, i have a sense of satisfaction that he gets to enjoy something i never had.
People are most important. Money will come and go or grow. Health will fluctuate. Our moods will swing. People stay in our lives forever. Not everyone, but everyone that matters.
H was 1.5 years old and suddenly my husband had a one day meeting in Gurgaon. I jumped at that opportunity and tagged along to fly to Delhi. What a trip that was! Everyone was overjoyed seeing little H. Especially my grandmother. Suffering from Parkinson's for the last couple of years, she was on her deathbed just waiting for death. Her brain functioned the best, the rest of her, not much. I could not see her like that. She was one of the strongest ladies i have ever seen. She is meek, she is soft, she is the sweetest, yet she is strong. Never did she let us know she had an incomplete life. She made her kids and grand kids her life and loved us every so dearly. Seeing her lie down almost lifeless, blurting out incomprehensible words which I could not understand, i convinced myself it would be over soon and she would be out of her misery. How happy she was to see her first great grandchild, I have no idea. She must have been, because she asked for a silver tumbler to be gifted to him. That was the only thing i understood.Though i wished she used that energy to call out his name, or my name, one last time. 2 weeks later, she was gone. She was relieved of all her physical agony. I was happy. I was crying, but thankful to God for saving her.
Just as i was hoping 2016 would be a better year, my father's cousin also passed away. My parents just got back from my maternal grandmother's funeral ceremonies and then went to attend another.
Reminds me of that dreadful day last January when my father and his siblings were at their uncle's funeral and heard that my aunt's husband passed away at his brother's place in Mumbai. My father called me and was sobbing uncontrollably. "Another huge blow to our family" he said. My heart was worried who was next in the serial deaths that were happening since October 2014. When he said it was Muthu Athimber, I was shocked. We just met him last week. He was okay. How? It also happened to be the first working day at his new company for my brother. He was uncontrollable and inconsolable too. Athimber was loved by all of us. He was way too frank, but he was lovable always. He taught us many things when we were kids and he was respected by everyone in the family. His love for food was special. He enjoyed eating. I have never seen anyone relish food like he did. But his death was as painless and sudden that i wish everyone could meet death that way. No notice, no preparation, no agony, just keep speaking and then you are gone. But it is a bigger agony for those left behind wondering what just happened, right?
Mid last year, I lost another respected relative - Chandran Chithappa. My grand aunt's husband.
He always appreciated me and made me feel special. He seemed to encourage me in everything I did and was always proud of me. He was always presentable, even immediately after a nap. He looked handsome even during his funeral. Chithi still keeps telling how wonderful he was as a person and a partner. I am sure no one else would have been perfect for my dear Ganga Chithi.
We started 2016 without many people in our lives, but we managed to connect with siblings of my in-laws in Chennai. It was a memorable trip for all and I realized how one small person can add to so much joy in everyone's lives. My son is special to many many people and this year I will make sure he meets as many relatives and friends. The best way to stay in touch and spread joy.
Comments