Skip to main content

Vacation Guilt-Tripping

Five years back, 2 months post my mother's passing, I went on a "vacation" with my husband, kid and in-laws. I wanted it because it was a tough to go through the week of disconnect from office without sitting and crying. It was a nice place, outside the city, aloof and with very few folks around. Remember this was around a time when there was still Covid around, so with two senior citizens and one toddler, it was only okay to get to a place by car and away from the city and with few people. The loss of a parent is never easy and there is no rule book for handling the loss. But one needs to do what they think they need to do to handle it and lessen the pain. And if going out of town and get away from the hustle and bustle does it, then so be it. It was distracting for a bit to dress up, cycle around, trek a bit and enjoy the buffet spreads 3 times a day. This was the new year's eve. Post midnight I get a message , "Now no Covid ? Happy New Year!" It was supposedly a taunt because I asked folks not to take a crowded train or a confined airplane to visit during the 13 days of rituals in the midst of Covid. I still strongly stand by that decision I made that day. Not having people risking their lives was the call I had to make. I did not want one funeral to lead to many more and add on to more people that I had to grieve for. Is that something I had to spell out ? Atleast now, when I think back about that incident, I am even more convinced I made the right choice. There was one instance where folks went to attend a funeral(Covid casualty) and then caught on to it, were hospitalized, the entire family. It is very easy to rub it on their faces, but that is not how my Amma brought me up. So I shut up and wish them a speedy recovery and not "I told you so". Now, 5 years later, 4 months since FIL passed away, my son and I went out for a mini staycation. Near the city, where we could get away from the routine of the life. A loooot of time in the pool, water rides, pool again. Great food, lazing around on the room, reading books, watching TV - you know, everything we cannot do in our daily hustle. It was great. We both loved it thoroughly. DId it mean I do not grieve for the departed soul? No. It only means I do not let myself grieve and miss out on moments and finding my own peace. Sometimes, it is okay not to justify yourself or your actions to anyone. Someone guilt-tripping me reflects poorly on their empathy than me. It doesnt matter what people say, live your life your way and be happy. A little less judgemental and a little more empathetic. Because Karma. Until next time, Happy Reading. And also, Happy New Year!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The loss of a friend !

My Father-in-law was not the typical FIL who was distant and would not interact with his daughter-in-law. Well, initially he was like that and then he warmed up to my presence and opened up to me. Over the last few years, as we spent a lot of time together, as we were all living in the same home, he became my close friend, mentor, guide and my biggest cheerleader. He was born in Shimoga, grew up in Amrutur with his aunt, started his family in Sagara and eventually retired into Bangalore. 80+ years, he has had the most enviable life. Don't mistake it for a rosy life or a life with no issues or problems! He was one among 11 - 6 boys and 5 girls. He was the 2nd child and as his mother had more children, she needed help raising the kids and so she reached out to her sister in law to take care of him in Amruthur - a farmland. He grew up under the care of his aunt and love from his cousins, who were all girls. He would eat fresh food from the abundance of the farm and also drink milk so...
1 comment
Read more

It's been 5 years !

I still remember not being able to fall asleep on November 7th 2020. I usually crash and sleep almost the instant I decide to call it a day. But that day, I closed my eyes and was tossing and turning and I just could not sleep. It was almost 1 am the next day when I just about started to doze off when I got a call. A call that late into the night from a family member is always dreaded. I now knew why ! I was told that my Amma was not well and we needed to go to see her immediately. 5 minutes after we started, we heard the news that she was no more. The ride took 40 minutes and still felt like a terrible nightmare. Once I reached where she was, we decided to wait for a couple of more hours before informing our family and friends. At 4am, I started making the calls. Reiterating to each one that Amma was no more. It was the toughest to state it out loud like that when no one ever saw it coming. Just 12 hours back we were making plans of what sweets each of us would make for Deepavali. Sh...
3 comments
Read more

A quick list of my current Top 5 favourite Taylor Swift songs

I thought I would put up my top 5 TS songs as of Dec 2025 because it will 100% keep changing. 1. All too Well - Like she mentioned on Stephen Colbert Show, yup , the 10-minute version is best to let out an emotional cry. I may not have a broken heart now, but I can imagine her hurt and I feel that hurt and I can listen to the song and feel the emotions and sometimes even cry thinking about heartbreak that is not there in reality, but an imaginary heartbreak just to let out a good cry. I dont know if you can understand that, but I would highly recommend being angry and sad at someone through this song. 2. Love Story - I think this was the first song I heard of Taylor and loved it and still do! This is the most romantic song as a young adult and makes you dream of all the sweetness in the world, waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet and be together happily ever after. She sold that dream and that fantasy. I still love the song for the time it takes me back to. 3. Anti...
4 comments
Read more