Vacation Guilt-Tripping

Five years back, 2 months post my mother's passing, I went on a "vacation" with my husband, kid and in-laws. I wanted it because it was a tough to go through the week of disconnect from office without sitting and crying. It was a nice place, outside the city, aloof and with very few folks around. Remember this was around a time when there was still Covid around, so with two senior citizens and one toddler, it was only okay to get to a place by car and away from the city and with few people. The loss of a parent is never easy and there is no rule book for handling the loss. But one needs to do what they think they need to do to handle it and lessen the pain. And if going out of town and get away from the hustle and bustle does it, then so be it. It was distracting for a bit to dress up, cycle around, trek a bit and enjoy the buffet spreads 3 times a day. This was the new year's eve. Post midnight I get a message , "Now no Covid ? Happy New Year!" It was supposedly a taunt because I asked folks not to take a crowded train or a confined airplane to visit during the 13 days of rituals in the midst of Covid. I still strongly stand by that decision I made that day. Not having people risking their lives was the call I had to make. I did not want one funeral to lead to many more and add on to more people that I had to grieve for. Is that something I had to spell out ? Atleast now, when I think back about that incident, I am even more convinced I made the right choice. There was one instance where folks went to attend a funeral(Covid casualty) and then caught on to it, were hospitalized, the entire family. It is very easy to rub it on their faces, but that is not how my Amma brought me up. So I shut up and wish them a speedy recovery and not "I told you so". Now, 5 years later, 4 months since FIL passed away, my son and I went out for a mini staycation. Near the city, where we could get away from the routine of the life. A loooot of time in the pool, water rides, pool again. Great food, lazing around on the room, reading books, watching TV - you know, everything we cannot do in our daily hustle. It was great. We both loved it thoroughly. DId it mean I do not grieve for the departed soul? No. It only means I do not let myself grieve and miss out on moments and finding my own peace. Sometimes, it is okay not to justify yourself or your actions to anyone. Someone guilt-tripping me reflects poorly on their empathy than me. It doesnt matter what people say, live your life your way and be happy. A little less judgemental and a little more empathetic. Because Karma. Until next time, Happy Reading. And also, Happy New Year!