Alone, not lonely

When I was in Munich a decade back, I would roam around the city on my own. I would go have lunch at a nice restaurant(read chinese restaurant to practice my chopstick skills) on my own. I did not have company, but I did not mind. I absolutely did not want to miss out on experiences because I was waiting for someone to give me company. I have travelled to Paris on my own. I have also done a lot of sightseeing in Malaysia as well when I was there with my husband who travelled for work. I used to walk alone in Yokohama, Japan as well while we stayed there. I don't know when I stopped doing things alone. I think having smartphones makes it tougher to venture out alone and look at people. It almost feels like someone is wierd if they are NOT staring at their phone or have their earphones on. Work travel to other cities is not counted here. They are for work. With a purpose. There is an official car, a flight is booked, you reach office and you work. There's no sight seeing involved. You are merely following steps to reach your office. A couple of years back, I did resolve to go watch the Taylor Swift Eras Movie in the theatre. Knowing there was no one else who'd be interested, I booked a single ticket and went over. You might have read about this in one of my past posts. This was a group of Swifties just there to listen and enjoy the eras tour playlist from the comfort of the movie theatre seats. I'd love to go attend events, art workshops, dramas, stand up shows and all.Nothing stopping me really. I got the money, I got time. I don't have company. I don't have the will to go without someone to tag along. Just so I would not feel like a loser, showing up alone, without friends or family. So last week when I saw a show by Sumukhi Suresh, I started tapping into friends and found one, albeit, she stayed really far from the venue which was very close only to me. She said yes, promptly transferred the ticket price without me asking. The next weekend, she left her home 2 hours before the show started. Thanks to Metro, she would not have to brave the traffic of Bangalore roads. She would have safely made it to the venue on time. No, actually before time. Way before time. 24 hours before time to be exact. My friend completely misjudged the DAY of the show. Time, she got that bang on target. Blame it on the antibiotics due to chest infection that she had. So while she made her way back to her part of the city, I was frantically looking out for a person to take the seat that just got freed up. "Hi Friend. Is your wife, who I have never met, whose name I do not know, okay to join me for a comedy stand up show ?" "No. She's busy. She's got friends." "Hi neighbour. I got an extra ticket to a show tonight. Do you want to join?" "I will join you", said my husband. "No, you will not enjoy. And in turn I cannot enjoy either, so No", I said. And thus I resolved to go there alone. I reached a good 30 minutes before the show. I did not really go there alone. In my handbag, I had sneaked in Porqu the Porcupine. The entire show made me laugh out heartily. There were tears of excessive laughter and somewhere down the line, I had even forgotten I was there alone. I had my friend crack me up non stop. For a change I was not even given a chance to talk back and I did not mind it. While comedians reflect on their dark stories with humour, I realized that while I was laughing with her, not at her, I still felt terrible for her. I wished she did not have to go through what she did, but maybe she had to go through that to be what she is now and to make us all laugh at those experiences, maybe remembering to laugh at ours as well. She ends the show asking her audience to make staying alone cool again. I couldn't help but think of how it was actually apt that I went there alone. I have friends, I have family, I have people that I care for and people that care for me. But that only means I am not lonely. I can absolutely thrive alone , even if it is just for these mini, solo-adventures. I am motivated now to do a lot of things alone as well. It is important in the journey of self-care and self-love to be selfish and do things that you like, alone. So with that, let's make going out for lunch alone cool; Watching a movie in the theatre without a buddy cool; laughing at a stand-up performance cool; being alone cool. #CoolAlone Until my next adventure, Happy Reading(alone)!