No matter where your mother is, send her flowers - they said !

 So, every mother's day, all companies start their advertising campaigns saying "Get this for your mother", "Buy her flowers", "Buy her gold" and so on. They are fine, I suppose. I remember Amma, and that I cannot get her anything for Mother's day or for her birthday anymore. And then I see this ad that says, "No matter where she is, send her flowers". Now this made me chuckle a bit but it also made me feel so angry. I was tempted to order for Amma and ask them how they will deliver to after life ! It also made me realize yet again that folks in advertising are only thinking of celebrating mothers who are alive, who have a good relationship with their child and where the child has a good relationship with their mother.  And co-incidentally I sat to watch a tamil movie called "Thai Kizhavi". Thai is Mother and Kizhavi is old lady, but contextually, it means a strong, matriarchal old woman. There are heart breaking scenes where her sons and son-in-law are all waiting for her to breathe her last so that they can take away her hard earned money! 

A strong willed, independent woman, as a mother, who is righteous and does not tolerate disrespect from anyone, not even her kids. She refuses to be at the mercy of her kids in old age. A stark contrast to all these rosy ads where it is all lovey dovey relationship between a mother and child. So many kids abandon their parents and one thing I have seen is it is important to have financial independence even in old age. It is good when relationship is good, but that should not be relied upon. 

So all this show of Mother's day no longer seems relevant in my eyes. One needs to respect and show their love through actions every single day. If your mother is still around, do things for her, make sure her life is a bit easier every day that is remaining. Give her dignity and give her that ability to uphold her self-respect. The flowers, gifts, vacations are nice only if the love is exhibited throughout the year and not just a one day affair of showing to the world you are a good child! Leave the posts and the status aside. The only one who needs to see you love her is your mother. 

 For those who are not mothers, these posts give a different type of heartbreak. For those of you whose mothers are no longer alive, I know how you feel. For those who don't want to stay in touch with your mother, I hear you.  So my heart goes out to everyone who is sad, disturbed, upset or indifferent about this whole Mother's day show.  Hugs to you.