Everyone on my floor has allowed kids to play out in the corridor, no masks, no distancing. Birthday parties are being celebrated with 0 masks. All this triggers my anxiety. I take this pandemic extremely seriously after hearing about an unfortunate situation that one of my colleagues went through. He lost both his parents-in-law and had endured two months of trauma with all that was going on in the family and over that an additional financial burden with 20+ lakhs of the hospital bills. Not sure if others have not yet been impacted by the pandemic and are hence very fearless, or they are really not taking this seriously, or they think it will not affect them at all.
I have 2 senior citizens at home and one toddler. I cannot afford to take the risk. I'd rather bear the challenges with keeping a 6-year-old entertained all the time. It is far better than worrying about risking my family's health all the time. I know we are exposed every time we go out to shop or interact in other ways. I believe in pushing the impact of this pandemic as much as possible and at the same time understanding that we cannot be 100% safe. I have avoided meeting my parents and brother as I want to keep the 2 families away from each other, lest there is any chance of having everyone impacted at the same time. I'll meet them someday. I am okay with missing birthdays and anniversary celebrations as one big family until this pandemic is under control or we know how to remain safe.
I am blessed to have people who understand my anxiety and sleeplessness because of what's happening around us and why I am insisting on keeping us away from others. It has ruined my social life, however, it has tremendously improved how I value my family. We end up fighting to take up responsibilities at home. We don't have a house help anymore, again to avoid exposure. I enjoy cleaning the house and washing dishes has been taken up by my better half. MIL rushes to wash a few dishes at every instance available. So that's how we will manage until January. We take small steps from our end to keep the family safe, healthy and engaged. I am not judging others who aren't wearing their masks or allowing their kids to play. They probably find it difficult to manage their kids alone at home. They will have their reasons. Unfortunately, I am sometimes mocked for being over-cautious. I felt offended initially, though now I am used to it. I know that my actions keep me content that I am not participating in what could be a spread of the pandemic at a large scale. I sleep well at night. That is more important than what others think about me. Yes, it affects friendships. Yes, it makes others think I am being a snob and do not trust them. Yes, it makes them not like me anymore. I sleep peacefully at night. That beats anything people think now. Because I know we cannot please everyone and I know impressions keep changing over time.
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